Engage In Conflict Resolution Practices

Seek an alternative to legal processes through mediated conflict-resolution.

What are the benefits?

  • Conflict-resolution can help you seek your own resolution with the person who did you harm outside of legal processes.

  • You can choose to stop the conversation at any time.

  • By agreeing to a method of conflict-resolution, both parties are showing a desire to make amends.

  • Conflict-resolution methods encourage the offender to apologize, acknowledge, and repair the harm they have done.

  • Potential forms of justice can include your community and/or forms of repair that you see fit, such as through an apology or help meeting expenses.

  • You can include support person(s) and/or your larger community.

  • Mediators are often trained to facilitate the conversation in a helpful way.

  • You could potentially protect your community from further harm.

What are the potential risks?

  • Enforcement of the agreement between you and the offender can be difficult to reach through informal processes, but community organizing against your perpetrator may help create accountability.

  • If both parties aren’t fully committed to restoring harm, mediation will not work.

  • Methods such as restorative justice for individual instances and transformative justice for systematic change require a community to hold perpetrators accountable. Because the adult industry as a whole does not currently have the community accountability skills needed to use these methods, mediation using conflict-resolution tactics and community organizing could prove to be an alternative method to restoring harm.

  • Just like therapists, crisis counselors, and lawyers, not all mediators are sex work friendly. It is important to find someone who will be professional and non-bias. If the first person you talk to is not the right fit, find another professional who will better lead the informal process.

How can I prepare?

  • Think of who you would want to be there to support you during the process.

  • Consider what outcomes you are looking for.

  • Get a sense of your where your boundaries are in relation to a resolution.

More information about transformative justice and community organizing:

  • Project Nia has a “Building Accountable Communities Toolkit” to address harm on a larger scale as a social movement.

  • Centre for Justice and Reconciliation has an ongoing account of restorative justice activities in over 40 countries.

  • Conflict Resolution Center is a Maryland based resource center for folks to access low cost or free dispute resolutions. Depending on where you are, options like this might exist in your area as well.

  • California Conference for Equality and Justice’s Healing Harms project can provide community support for those looking for accountability in instances of serious conflict.

  • For those considering this option, here is a detailed reflection of restorative and transformative processes.

  • The Revolution Starts At Home and Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement are two different books for those beginning the journey of organizing against your perpetrator.